Long Ago, The Gay Tribes Lived Together In Harmony

I am working as a cashier in a very gay part of San Francisco. (I know it’s all kinda gay but we are very close to Castro.) A woman with a southern accent is checking out from my register and is looking around apprehensively.

Me: “Are you okay, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, I’m visiting my son, y’see, so I’m not from around here.”

Me: “Do you need any local help?”

Customer: *Holding up a tourist map* “Maybe? My son gave me this guide to all the ‘el-gee-bee-tees’ and such, since he’s got himself a nice man and all, but it’s all kinda new to me.”

Me: “What is it you’re confused about? Maybe I can help.”

Customer: “Well, this here map says there’s a large bear population in this area, but this is a city. Why are there bears? Are they dangerous? I haven’t seen any yet, but I need to get these groceries home, and I have to walk it.”